Priorities in Crisis

 Right now I am dealing with some family issues.  I have lost both grandparents this year as well as another has been put in a nursing home.  No one can see him because of COVID.  We have to look through the window.  I send him a post card every week.  With cats on them.  He likes cats.  My granddaughter has kidney issues (she is one) and has been in the hospital with a ventilator due to a reaction to her vaccines for the last couple of days.  I don't actually have a problem, just about everyone I know does.  So I worry about them.  

Personal Action Plan:  Try to weed out the narcissism.  How I feel about something doesn't change the outcome.  So I can't doom myself by being happy.  How much I eat doesn't effect the problem.  I can't make it better.  I can't make it worse.  I need to take care of me first.  Like a mama lion.  Then prioritize what is real and what is drama.  

Faith During the Storm worksheet

 I can stop worrying about every little thing.  When I eat what probably isn't "good" just enjoy it and then eat healthier next time.  Listen to music, relax, go outside.  

I am so worried about my granddaughter and her health.  I am worried about her parents.  I am worried that all this health stuff is pointless and it won't matter anyway.  

You of little faith, why are you afraid?

I can guard my heart by controlling my thoughts.  Not allowing outside influences (mostly media) to dictate what is true.  

Fear, disappointment, gratitude, relief.  Zoning out, not fulling believing. overeating, eating badly, TV watching.

Just plain old feel bad.  I don't want to feel bad.

Nervous stomach feeling.  Realize that my feeling don't change anything outside of myself.  A bit narcisstic.  (the real term, not popculteral).  

The Last Sovereigns Review

 The Last Sovereigns by Robert M Utley is a historical book about the days of Sitting Bull during the time of avoiding surrender and living in Canada.  Sitting Bull is more famous for the Custer event and I hadn't known too much about the Canada years.  During this time, Sitting Bull avoided capture when other American Indians (I will use the Indian term in this review as that is the term Sitting Bull used) were surrendering so that they would no longer have to starve.  The Indians had been pushed farther north into Canada to leave room for white settlers.  Each time more land was wanted, the Indians were simply moved again. Canada didn't have enough buffalo to go around for all of the Canadians and Americans as well.  The Canadian government also could not afford to feed both sets of Indians.  American whites were not known for kindness or trustworthiness, therefore Indians wouldn't volunteer to go to reservations unless it was absolutely necessary.

The beginning of this book reads like a list of facts and took a little while to get flowing.  I considered stopping.  However, I kept going and about a quarter of the way through it picked up and started to flow in a captivating way.  I learned a lot about the relations between the two governments and the two races.  I admit I was a little disappointed in my race.  Not a nice look.  I felt horribly sorry for all of the family members of Sitting Bull that got caught up in the battle of the male egos that were fighting each other.  One thing I have noticed in my various readings about struggle and notorious events is that the male ego is not usually very helpful.  It can cause a lot of damage.  As you can see here,  males everywhere and the women and children were starving.  

Meditation Journal

 1.  I was inspired to take the course mostly because it was free and I try to meditate daily.

2. My sleep was fine.

3.  I am on no medications

4. I eat or get angry during stressful situations.  Cussing is common.

5.  I drink rarely.

6.  New ideas for mediation.

What gets in the way?

What tends to get in the way of continuing in God's word?  Probably business.  Or rather unmindfulness.  I just don't think about it unless I make myself.  I forget.  I get selfish.  Nosy.  Lazy.  There are lots of reasons and none of them good.  I have set up a routine where I pray at least 2 minutes each morning as well as devotionals.  I also have  things I am grateful for each night before bed.  This seems to help but when I write it out it seems so small. 
What are some changes that I can do to bring alignment into God's will for my life?
Well, I can stop focusing on things that don't bring me peace.  Only weigh myself once a week.  Eat according to points and don't worry about it.  Stop worrying in general.  Get more sleep and more time outside away from electronic devices.  Sometimes I hate electronic devices.  Says the woman typing on one now. 

Social Media

This weekend I am going without social media.  I have "put to sleep" some people that just seem to post and post and post and they are so charged and angry and forceful that I needed to get them gone.  I feel at ease almost immediately.  So now I am going to do the whole thing all weekend.  I'll let you know on Monday how it goes.

Press Pause

What are some places or situations in which God is asking me to press pause and give myself a minute to consider how my actions might affect others?    Normally I work out every day.  I have been trying and failing to loose weight for awhile now.  The other day I put out my back (neck and arms) while washing my hair.  Yes, washing my hair.  It has stopped all work outs and a great deal of movement all together; including driving.  The pause button has been pressed.  It's a bit of a relief.  I am not too sure how it affects others, but it has affected me.  I need down time whether I think I do or not.