Connect

Normally this is almost entirely a book review blog.  Once in a while I will review something else or tell about a vacation, but mostly, it's books.  I've been taking a Prepare for Summer Challenge and this week my challenge is to connect.  (I love those challenges!) Be it blogging or connecting on a board or whatever.  I am to blog to the universe.  I am to blog about a very personal thing.  My journey to recover my health.  In February, I felt the deep need to set the extra weight down.  Just set it on the side of the road and walk away.  My clothing was getting too small and I needed to go to a bigger size.  I was uncomfortable moving around.  It was breathless to climb the stairs.  Worst of all, I felt like a hand was placed on my heart.  I don't mean that in a spiritual way, I mean that in a fear for my life way.  No pain or real pressure, just a presence that didn't seem right.  My blood pressure was fine and provided I had not had caffeine in awhile, heart rate was fine too.  But the feeling was very unnerving.  I had several times put off doctor visits due to shame of having my weight taken in a hall way way by another person; to the point my doctor was worried I might die next time.  We are talking putting off treatment for pneumonia, strep throat and chronic ear infections.  I feared going to California to see my step-daughter for fear of being kicked off the plane.  I feared trips to Disney Land that I might be kicked off a ride.  It was time. 
Sooo, I did my research and on February 7 I joined Weight Watchers.  It has been 3 months and I have lost 22 pounds.  My original goal was: I signed up for 6 months and I was going to stick with the program for 6 months.  I now think I will need 9 to reach my goal.  But first lets think of the 6 months.  I am currently working on other aspects of my health as well.  I am working a de-stress program (anxiety runs in my family even before it became the illness of choice), I am working of my relationship with God, I am working on proper sleep, and other aspects of health.  On my 6 month date I will be going to a doctor for a well-woman check up.  Last one was 9 years ago.  Yeah, 9.  Don't do that.  I have a few things I'd like to address in the future such as salt intake and proper mental health check ups.  But baby steps.
Today I am supposed to compliment myself.  Self esteem is severely lacking if you couldn't figure that out already.  Here goes:  I am reasonably smart.  I have great boobs.  Yeah, they get me what I want mostly.  Not real "me too" at the moment, but I'm 45, I've adapted I guess.  I have value even to the people who do not admit it.  In the words of Agent Carter, "I know my value.  Anyone else's opinion is not important."