How will I take care of myself next year?

Next year my plan is to work on mental health.  As a child my mental health was used as a method of control.  My husband does the same.  Next year my plan is to work on independent self thoughts.  More separation.  I plan to not walk into traps.  I want to make a decision and if someone doesn't like it, rather than allowing them to degrade until I agree with them or show agony to make them feel superior, I will leave them to deal with their own issues and they can correct my "mistake" on their own.  I want to work on making myself feel secure and happy.  My self image should not depend on someone else.  I have given them too much power.  And most of it is simply to boost their own self esteem.