like a fine wine or stinky cheese

Age.  I have reached the dreaded middle age.  45.  I don't know which I am, the cheese or the wine.  I pretty much squandered my youth as far as health goes.  I was always pretty much healthy and have worked at my weight all my life.  I have been ashamed of my weight my whole life. Which is weird, because when I see pictures of myself at pretty much any phase other than recently, I look fine.  My mother and great-grandmother both had an obsession with weight.  Mostly other people's weight.  I have heard my mother go off about the weight of people she has never met, never seen.  They both just seem to love to  insult others about their size.  Neither has a weight problem.  So it would be reasonable that size would be an issue with me.  I have been told I was fat since I hit puberty.  I have not been overweight until I was 30.  I don't know how much is real and how much is not.