Emotional Eating

Share about the last time I was tempted to emotionally eat.  Well, that would be everyday.  Everyday.  It is my addiction.  My alcohol.  My nail biting.  My whatever.  It is what I do.  It makes me sad to think that it is killing me.  That one day what I do to get through each day will eventually take away my life.  Then all of those days won't matter anyway. 

Gratitude Post

1. baby sleeping in the bedroom
2. time for exercise
3.  I didn't get the sickness everyone else has
4. husband is working
5.  daughter is feeling better
6. got grocery shopping done before storm hits
7. Zac is coming back to work
8. Expo is in California
9. modern technology
10. I live in the US

2019-2020

Accomplishments from 2019:
1. Took a vacation to California and didn't lose my shit.
2. Saw Hamilton in KC!
3. Only gained 10 lbs even though I cheated a lot
4.  Kept regular exercise
5. Assisted in our business reaching financial goal.


Goals for 2020
1. Lose the 10 pounds I gained by Spring Break
2. Reach goal weight by end of the year
3. Be at Peace with myself in my world
4. Make my mediation practice more regular
5. See my grandparents more

Activities that will achieve Goals
1. Learn more about my spirituality
2. Read more
3. Be honest with food and everything else.  It is what it is.
4.  Spend more time on/in the water
5. Spend at least one day a month with Grandparent

What is me?

What takes up my time, thoughts, energy?  Right now I am back into health.  So, working out, recipes, thinking about food.  I also have a business.  Though it is my husbands and he is totally obsessed with it, it does take a lot of time and energy.  Dealing with him mostly.  I have one child still at home.  She is very attention seeking.  That takes a lot of attention and energy and can be quite exhausting.  I enjoy my books, cats, tv, church, but those things are on the back burner.  Mostly I am trying to keep my husband (business) and daughter at bay.  I need to seek some things for myself.  Without them.

How did I have fun?

How did I have fun last year?  Well, we took a trip to California that was great.  We visited my step-daughter, she lives at Laguna Beach.  We also spent a couple of days at San Diego.  It was a great trip.  We also took a long weekend to Springfield, Illinois.  Which you might think was kinda boring, but actually we had a great time.  We went to the Lincoln stuff and it was surprisingly amazing.  I highly recommend it. 

Personal Growth

In what way did I grow as a person in 2019?  Well, thanks to my kids, I got a whole lot more inclusive and accepting on normal.  My kids did some weird stuff this year.  Things I still can't fully grasp.  But each weird thing brought some good.  Something I am grateful for.  Something that makes me glad they did the hair-brain thing that they did. 
What did I learn?  That mother doesn't always know best.  Let them grow as well. 

Body Relationship

How do I feel about my body?  I was conditioned by parents, men, and society in general to not feel good about it.  It is in everyone else's best interest that I don't. I am easier to control this way, I am worth money this way, and it makes others feel better about themselves.  As a woman, it is fairly easy to do.  2020 is the year of Peace.  This year I hope to make peace with my body.  It is what it is.  It does what it does.  You can take it or leave it.  That is my goal.  Peace with everything. 

Priorities

What can I do to make my well-being a priority for 2020?  Last year I did not and there was absolutely no reward in it.  Not for me and not for the people I put first.  They did not benefit from my worrying at all!  This year I will keep my focus.  I will put exercising in with brushing teeth and bathing.  I will practice honesty with my food intake.  The body don't lie.