Emotional Eating in Crisis

 During stressful times I will emotional eat.  I eat to relieve the pressure, to relax, and to liven things up.  There isn't much that food can't fix.  Emotionally.  Outside of the emotions and keeping me alive it doesn't fix much else.  Texture tends to be important.  Crunchy during need for relaxing, sweets and soft during need to destress and savory during boredom.  

1. Pause: Think am I actually hungry?  

2. Say the Lord's Prayer

3. Try a distraction.  Try a small portion.  NEVER keep anything good in the house that isn't in a small portion.  

Priorities in Crisis

 Right now I am dealing with some family issues.  I have lost both grandparents this year as well as another has been put in a nursing home.  No one can see him because of COVID.  We have to look through the window.  I send him a post card every week.  With cats on them.  He likes cats.  My granddaughter has kidney issues (she is one) and has been in the hospital with a ventilator due to a reaction to her vaccines for the last couple of days.  I don't actually have a problem, just about everyone I know does.  So I worry about them.  

Personal Action Plan:  Try to weed out the narcissism.  How I feel about something doesn't change the outcome.  So I can't doom myself by being happy.  How much I eat doesn't effect the problem.  I can't make it better.  I can't make it worse.  I need to take care of me first.  Like a mama lion.  Then prioritize what is real and what is drama.  

Faith During the Storm worksheet

 I can stop worrying about every little thing.  When I eat what probably isn't "good" just enjoy it and then eat healthier next time.  Listen to music, relax, go outside.  

I am so worried about my granddaughter and her health.  I am worried about her parents.  I am worried that all this health stuff is pointless and it won't matter anyway.  

You of little faith, why are you afraid?

I can guard my heart by controlling my thoughts.  Not allowing outside influences (mostly media) to dictate what is true.  

Fear, disappointment, gratitude, relief.  Zoning out, not fulling believing. overeating, eating badly, TV watching.

Just plain old feel bad.  I don't want to feel bad.

Nervous stomach feeling.  Realize that my feeling don't change anything outside of myself.  A bit narcisstic.  (the real term, not popculteral).  

The Last Sovereigns Review

 The Last Sovereigns by Robert M Utley is a historical book about the days of Sitting Bull during the time of avoiding surrender and living in Canada.  Sitting Bull is more famous for the Custer event and I hadn't known too much about the Canada years.  During this time, Sitting Bull avoided capture when other American Indians (I will use the Indian term in this review as that is the term Sitting Bull used) were surrendering so that they would no longer have to starve.  The Indians had been pushed farther north into Canada to leave room for white settlers.  Each time more land was wanted, the Indians were simply moved again. Canada didn't have enough buffalo to go around for all of the Canadians and Americans as well.  The Canadian government also could not afford to feed both sets of Indians.  American whites were not known for kindness or trustworthiness, therefore Indians wouldn't volunteer to go to reservations unless it was absolutely necessary.

The beginning of this book reads like a list of facts and took a little while to get flowing.  I considered stopping.  However, I kept going and about a quarter of the way through it picked up and started to flow in a captivating way.  I learned a lot about the relations between the two governments and the two races.  I admit I was a little disappointed in my race.  Not a nice look.  I felt horribly sorry for all of the family members of Sitting Bull that got caught up in the battle of the male egos that were fighting each other.  One thing I have noticed in my various readings about struggle and notorious events is that the male ego is not usually very helpful.  It can cause a lot of damage.  As you can see here,  males everywhere and the women and children were starving.  

Meditation Journal

 1.  I was inspired to take the course mostly because it was free and I try to meditate daily.

2. My sleep was fine.

3.  I am on no medications

4. I eat or get angry during stressful situations.  Cussing is common.

5.  I drink rarely.

6.  New ideas for mediation.