2021-2022

 Each year for the last few years I pick a word of the year and focus on that.  In 2018 it was health.  I lost almost 40 pounds (have since gained back almost 30)  I also connected with mental, spiritual, energy, and anykind of health you can think of.  2019 was adventure.  What I learned there was that adventure takes many forms and vacationing is only a tiny part.  The universe had many different ideas than I.  In 2020 it was peace.  And you know what happened there.  Forced peace throughout the world followed by chaos of all kinds.  I both had no choice and had to work very hard for that Peace of which I seeked.  In 2021 I was searching for balance.  I am a daughter of a free spirit and a OCD master.  I tend to naturally swing from one to the other.  Balance was not fun; it was hard.  And I will never shoot for it again.  

2022 will be discovery, both of myself and the world around me.  I have a plan where each month I discover a different topic as well as myself.  There will be learning, writing, meditating, and cooking.  Field trips, reading, and reports.  I want to discover and expand.

Grateful Affirmations

 Morning:

I want to feel accomplished and relaxed today.

I am going to make a list of what needs to be done and on that list will be breaks.

Evening:

Today I felt like I was catching up.  Recovering.

I did complete the things I wanted to do.

What made me grow:  movement, meditation, reponsibility

What made me grateful:  reading Haudenosaunee Thanksgiving prayer

LB Grateful

 10 things:

1. Walmart wasn't too crazy: because lots of lines were opened by the time I left.

2.  That I have running water:  because I thought my well was going out, but it is my water heater.

3.  That I had the money to buy at Walmart:  so that I can give presents for Christmas.

4.  That all the people called me back:  so I could finish my work.

5.  No tornados:  because I don't want any and there were 8 last night.

6.  That my kidneys work:  because my granddaughter's don't and I need to be glad mine do.

7.  Christmas shopping is almost done:  cuz I don't have time for it.

8.  That Jesus was born:  cuz I sure do need a savior.

9.  That I have electric heat:  I don't miss keeping a fire going at all.

10.  That of all the places in the world in all the times, this is when I am alive.

Day 15 Magic recap

 1.  Recap:

morning meditation, bible study, and prayer time- 1sst thing

make to do list including work and self as soon as I get to work

exercise after work & sit in nature

nighttime reading

2.  Pretty firm.  Asked people to leave if they were interupting, then go to them when finished.

3.  Ok, except about half the people at work called in.  Had to do some rescheduling.

4.  absences at work, more work hours

5.  Be flexible

Day 10 Magic

 List of Spiritual self care ideas to do over October

1.  Daily bible devotional

2.  walk during afternoon break to connect to nature and not computer

3.  Write in journal after work 2 days a week.

Day 4 Magic: Future

 In the future I am still here and I'm with the people I am with now.  I am fine with most of that.  I am wearing a smaller size; I am drinking and eating smaller quantities.  I am settled and calm.  I am happy.  

Chaos: day 3

 1. First thing in morning

2. when trying to work out and someone is home

3. whenever husband is around

Set boundaries, work out when everyone is at work or school (though usually I am at work), I don't know what to do about the husband. Maybe that's where I need to let go of control.  

Day 2 Magic

Boundaries 

Inner Circle:  my own health, my own sanity, my independence and control

Outer circle:  others having control of me, serving others at my expense, too much drama

Day One Magic

 Barriers:

Time:  Schedule

Energy:  Do first?

Other people's demands: Tell them to shove it

Remembering: Keep on calendar

Lady Maybe

 "Lady Maybe" is the 2015 novel by Julie Klassen.  In this book Hannah Rogers is the ladies companion of 1819 Lady, Marianna of Bath, England.  Marianna is a loose cannon...so to speak.  She's been having an affair on her husband, Sir John and making life a living hell for all.  Sir John keeps moving and changing environments in hopes of reigning his wayward wife in to no avail.  On his latest maneuver, there is a carriage accident and suddenly the situation finally turns.  

This book is a pretty classic love triangle.  Though I'm not sure either man was worthy.  Both seemed to just want to own her, not actually be with her.  Both were forward and abusive.  If it were 2021 she would definitely have a civil suit if not an actual criminal case.  I didn't really like this one.  I kept wishing she would just take the money and run.  However, it was 1819 and women didn't have  a lot of options. 

Blessed, Blessed....Blessed review

 In 2017 I received the e-book, "Blessed, Blessed.....Blessed" by Missy Robertson.  I knew instantly it wasn't a book I would be able to read.  Missy's daughter, Mia, was born with a cleft palate and lip.  She had medical special needs.  My daughter also has medical special needs.  Her name is Sarah, and she has hypoplastic left heart.  She only has half of a heart.  

This year when I went to get my COVID vaccine, I knew I would need a book because I needed to wait at least 20 minutes after getting the shot before I could leave.  So I took the kindle and for some reason decided that in a room full of people, this was the book I should read.  I had to start and stop several times.  It is an honest, gut wrenching, emotional, difficult read.  It is amazing. I have read several Robertson books, not all, but many.  This is by far the best one.  This is a book you should read.  This is an important book.

Vetoga Journal

 it has been raining for days and days.  Everything is flooded.  The world is soaked in rain.  You have to be careful where you drive, cuz you might not be able to go there.  There's a lot of turning back. You know, so you don't drown.  There's a lot of cleaning up and waiting for things to dry.  I've got my dehumidifier going.  My basement couch is wet.  

However, it is so green.  It looks like God went around with a green magic marker.  The grass is lush.  Like walking through an 1970's carpet.  My tomato plant is growing like gangbusters.  It is soaked, but it is beautiful. 

Goodbye to Yesterday Review

 "Goodbye to Yesterday" by Wanda Brunstetter is book #1 is the Discovery series.  Goodbye is about a newly we couple of Amish faith that have come on hard times.  Luke, the husband, has been out of work for quite awhile when he finally gets the opportunity to start his own business.  The catch?  It's in an entirely different field.  Against Meredith's better judgement, Luke goes to Indiana to learn the headstone carving business and falls into the trap of a drug dealer on the run.  

The Discovery series is told in installments like a TV show.  The book is very small and easily read in a day.  There are six books in the series with the first just wetting the appetite of the reader.  It is pretty traditional for an Amish Romance in that it is quick and light.  I brought it on a family reunion trip and it was perfect for reading while waiting in busy or loud places.  Not hard to follow at all.  I received this novella in exchange for an honest review.  

Proverbs 31 Day 7

 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.  Proverbs 31:16

What struck me was that she went out to the field and then bought it and made plans.  Not They.  I can make plans as well.  Ones that don't include my husband, buy may benefit him all the same.  

Proverbs 31 Day 6

 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maindens.  Provers 31:15

What struck me was the word maidens.  She had help.  Which means it's not a crime to ask for help.  Now that probably means that the husband will hold it against you, but let's face it.  It would have held anything against you if it benefitted him.  I don't really like asking for help.  I could use some.  

Organization.  I try to be organized.  In some places I am almost manic.  In others (for instance I am surrounded on this desk by junk.  Just junk.)  Not so much.  

Proverbs 31 Day5

 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.  Proverbs 31:14

She brought food.  Nourishment.  From wherever she needed to bring it from.  I need to do that.  Not only to bring them the nourishment that they need, but to represent a healthy way of cooking and consuming that food.  

Proverbs 31 day 4

 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.  Proverbs 31:13

To be grateful for everything.  My favorite part of the lesson was being thankful for projectile vomiting.  Now that's one I had never thought of.  I suppose vomit from the top bunk would fall into a thankful category as well.  I am thankful that the vomit that landed on so many things means that I have (had) so many things for the vomit to fall on and that when they were thrown away ( yes, I threw them away I didn't clean them)  that I could replace the toys, clothes, whatever.  I have children in which to do the vomiting.  Thank you.  

Attitude towards work:  I work with/for my husband.  Sometimes that's not as glamorous as it seems.  When he needs to unload, he unloads on me.  Whether we are in public or not.  I however, am not allowed to do the same.  And really, I shouldn't though.  (neither should he)  However, we are never alone.  We are always around someone.  There really is no "time" to have a knock down drag out fight.  That is something I am going to need to work on.  

Proverbs 31 Day 3

 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.  She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.  Proverbs 31:11-12

He trusts in her.  Men who trust tend to respect.  Try to bring wise counsel to him.  However, do it when he is receptable.  My husband isn't always able/capable of listening.  I am not always able to give counsel in a manner that isn't degrading.  Sometimes, his ideas are stupid.  

Loyalty:  I think I am loyal.  One thing I do need to stop is bad mouthing him when he is not being honorable.  Keep that between the two of us.  

Proverbs 31 Day 2

 Who can find a virtuous wife?  For her worth is far above rubies.  Proverbs 31:10

What struck me was that women are often seen as worth money or less than, but here is says that women are worth far more than.  Which I don't think they are often valued that way.  Usually they are seen as a way to either get more money or save.  Women are seen as virtuous which is the same as valor.  Women tend to try and create value from men.  Men don't value us as much as they should.  Maybe what needs to change is not how men value women, but how women value themselves.  Valuing myself rather than reflecting my husbands view is something I definitely need to work on.  

Proverbs 31 1#

 Proverbs 31 woman is a whole lotta woman.  A bit intimidating.  Do I even want to do that?  I do not measure up.  Like at all.  Nor have I outwardly told my children that it is a goal.  Might wanna get started on that since I have 7 and only one is at home now.