Food for Comfort

Of course I turn to food for comfort, duh!  No one is that hungry.  2 Corinthians says that we receive comfort so that we can give comfort.  Eating comfort is not possible to pass along.  Jesus asks for all who are weary.  He created the food for thanksgiving, to be enjoyed.  Today I will count my points and enjoy my food.

Tebow

Let's start this review with everybody loves Tim Tebow.  Even when they say they don't, they do.  I tend to carry around the books I am reading and read them at various places: practices, lessons, various other kid activities, and when I do people usually never comment on the book.  Unless it has Tim Tebow's picture on the front.  My boys (early twenties) argue over who gets the book next.  When it's Tebow.  "This is the Day" is Tim's newest book and it is about grabbing your dreams and making them happen through God.  He gets pretty honest in this book, sharing his minor league experiences.  When he talks about the things the other teams would do to them, though I can see where he wouldn't find them so funny, I thought they were hilarious! He had touching moments as well as once that really made you think.   I feel like this is his best book yet.  Perfect idea for stocking stuffers!

Out with the Old

It's comfortable to know that God and the universe have given me the tools needed to deal with things that go wrong.  I am finding that life is much easier when I know how to deal with it.  What stuck out the most is the impact my parents have had on my weight.  I can see the why now.  But I am no longer a kid and can do what I want.  I can say yes or no to whatever.  I just need to DO it. In             1 Corinthians 13 is says that as a child I thought like a child, but as a grown-up I put away childish things.  It is time to put away childish things. 

#trueyou

Three reason why I love myself:
Because I am the only body I got.
I get shit done!
What's not to like!

Three Reason I am grateful to be alive today:
Of all the times in history to be a woman, this would be the one I would want to be in.
Because I have so much I still want to do.
It's a wonderful world/

Three difficult things this week:
Family visited
harassment at work from various sources
trying out balancing/intuitive eating

Three things I will do next week:
Get balancing in line
Have birthday party for my 14 year old
get will done

Reasons I deserve happiness
everyone does
I have not done anything to deserve pain
I am a good person

Three ways I am closer to the #trueyou:
I am learning my sources
I am learning who I want to be
I no longer care what it takes to get there or what others think about it.

Wonderfully Made

This week I have had some things put upon me that I didn't especially want.  All were people trying to take advantage in various ways.  All have given me tons of stress and anxiety.  I want to hide when that happens.  I am getting kind of tired of people  I have been getting back on track and trying to even out a balance in things lately.  All of stress is binding that up.  However, I keep reading that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  I am how I am supposed to be.  That I need to love me as I am.  I can change things for the better, but that shouldn't be the reason I love myself.  I am working on it.  I noticed that this past week was easier to handle when I kept myself in mind.  For instance when I was being absorbed and used this week I snuck off and did some walking by myself.  Then sat on a park bench and meditated.  I felt ready after that.  I also took a candle lit bath one night when I knew people were wanting me to serve.  Screw 'em.  I'm taking a long soak. 
Now to get through the work related anxiety. 

do it myself

I would say there are two areas where I have no control.  Or normally have none.  I don't usually have control over the food going in and I don't usually have any control over my home where guests are concerned.  I am lately fighting for control over my thoughts.  I have been working considerably on my control over things and letting other things go.  For instance, I can let a lot of things that I try to control go.  Just let someone else do it.  And then controlling the things that actually matter to me.  Like my health.  I need to control my reactions to things I don't like.  I may not be able to control who comes over, how long, and to do what; but I can control whether I am there.  I know my not being there will hinder the enjoyment  as no one else is there to do the work, he will need to.  I can control what I am willing to do.  I can control how much activity I do for exercise.  The food part is harder.  I have come to realize that the binge/deprive thing I have been doing is not working.  I need to even things out.  That's what I am trying to do now.  Have a few treats spread out over the week.  
I don't think "I need to control" is a lie.  People need to control a little of something.  Otherwise, they are being controlled.  Sometimes control is a good thing.  Controlling everything; now that's a lie.

My flaws would be the need to control everything.  Not being able to control that which is actually in my control.  etc.

pie chart

I am loving the area of results in the area of smaller clothes.  No one has noticed yet.  I don't think anyone actually looks at 45 year old women anyway, and so no one probably will notice.  I notice.  I am disliking the results of my mind control.  I feel like I am losing control a little right now.  Mother-in-law is coming this weekend, baby shower, crazy lady called and yelled on phone, and creepy guy is coming by again.  Feel like I am not keeping peace.  I am not sure what I can do.  Other than hide.  That would not be appropriate.  Hold it together till Monday I guess.  Wish husband wasn't bailing on me this weekend.  But of course that is what he usually does.  That's how he deals with the stress. 
I am thankful for the visit being short.  I am thankful that I have come together with the tools I need to handle any situation. Just wish I didn't need to put them to use quite so soon. 
I tend to put others first to the point of harming myself.  I need to put myself first in the areas that my health is at risk.  I tend to soothe myself with food.  It tends to be more acceptable to do rather than say no.  It feels like everyone is constantly wanting something.  I need to do this; need to do that.  Even the dog!  Other people's demands tend to put my health on the back burner due to the fact that they won't stop whining.  I realize I am not important to others, but I should be important to myself and I have been working on my health even though others do not like how it improaches on their desires.  I buy much healthier food now and refuse to eat out with others near as often.  I also take at least 30 minutes a day to walk whether they like it or not.  Sometimes I can't figure out why they especially care other than just to control.