Mr Prez & Patterson

I am in the middle "The President is Missing" by Bill Clinton and James Patterson.  I am pleasantly surprised by the book.  I have read many Patterson books and the autobiography of Clinton so I knew both could write.  I am not sure how they divied up the writings, but it is extremely good.  It reads with the chapters trading between the point of view of the president and the assassin.  It gives a peek into the behind the scenes of being a president.  It isn't autobiographical; different president.  Not very political, so if you are thinking you don't like Clinton as a president, you don't need to feel like you can't like him as a fictional author.  You totally can! 

Relationship Goals

Top Three Values:
Laughter
Compatibility
Respect

I have picked these three because I think these three will make being married more enjoyable.  Laughter means that a moment has been had and now you are comfortable enough to just laugh about it.  Not just smile; laugh.  Without compatibility there really is no relationship.  Not to say you need to do everything together, but I would like to do what we do without fighting and with peace.  I would also like to be respected.  I think if a man respects a woman, it means more that if he loves her.  Men love women.  They rarely respect them.  I guess maybe I need to work on being respectable. 

Intentions:
We enjoy each other so much we laugh every day.
We have a compromising relationship that we are compatible in.
I respect him; he respects me. 

Mom & Pop

What do I appreciate about my parents?  Well, they may have been young and had no idea what they were doing, but I can never say they didn't work hard.  Very hard.  I grew up on a farm.  A family farm that my Grandfather owned and let us live in. (He had moved into a trailer in town; too old to farm)  My father worked a full time job as well as raised pigs for our food and money.  My mom, sister and I cared for them as well, as in we hauled water in 5 gallon buckets in a red wagon twice a day all summer long to them.  But the bulk of the work was done by my father.  Later we switch from hogs to cattle. He also hunted everything he could to provide us with meat year round.  This included the butchering of these animals, processing, etc.  My mom grew everything you can think of and canned or froze it all for the winter.  We grew a huge garden and put everything up in our cellar.  We also picked fruit from other people's trees (they let us) and froze all of that as well.  She sewed all of our clothes and most our food was homemade.  She also ran a day care with approximately 5 additional kids too.  They worked very hard and I am sure they didn't enjoy it very much.  We made it on very little money, can't say that love was especially in large supply either.  But there was a major work ethic that can't be denied.  Especially when you consider how young they were at the time.  I appreciate how hard they worked so that I could have everything I needed. 

1 Years of First

My husband and I have been together for 19 years.  We have had lots of firsts and lots of hundred and somethin's.  Here is a list of some of our first.
First time I saw him he was mowing his yard. (he was my neighbor)  He had his hat on backwards and was wearing a tank top and Levi's. 
First time I spoke with him we were near the street watching our children play and he said the roads were better before they fixed them. (they were)
First time we had a conversation he fixed my son's bike, which my grandpa had bought at an auction for my friend who had stomach cancer.  Jason's father had donated the bike which had been Jason's son's to the cause.
First time he asked me out was in my yard and I had to clarify he meant a date.  It had been awhile.
First time we went out, we went to see "Sixth Sense" and ate Phili Cheese steak sandwiches.
First time we kissed was after our first date and he asked me if he could. (swoon!)
First trip we ever had was to his parents lake house at the Lake of the Ozarks for Independence Day.  It was a disaster.
First gift he gave me was a Scrabble game for Christmas. 
First time I knew he loved me was New Year's Eve.
There have been a ton of other firsts and such.  Some wonderful, some awful, mostly mundane.  It's the day to day that keeps the relationship going.  He is my husband and I am completely dedicated to him. 

5 years ago

Five years ago I was in the throws of motherhood.  I had one in grade school, two in high school, and three in college.  I was constantly going to games, meetings, performances, making food to bring somewhere, the responsibilities were endless.  I felt so depleted and zapped of energy.  I was incredibly overweight and too busy to do anything about it.  I ONLY went to kid stuff and drove people around.  It was exhausting.  But that time of my life is over.  When my son, kid number 6, graduated, I spent about a year watching TV.  I had one in middle school and she didn't do near as much stuff as the others, so it felt like I had all the time in the world.  I certainly needed a rest. Then I started to work on me.  I was horribly neglected and needed to start taking care of myself.  I don't know how many doctor trips and illnesses were due to overworking and under caring.  I have been sick for the past week with a horrible cold/plague that has been going around.  I am determined to recover without a doctor visit.  So, I haven't done much the past week.  I have craved juice and so I drank it.  I haven't worked out or done much labor.  I worked half days and even took one day off.  I am feeling better and don't feel any infections coming on.  So far so good.

Year One Achievements

I posted my anniversary post the other day, but failed to mention my achievements from the year.  I may be feeling down now, but I know that I have come a long way as well.  I have lost almost 40 pounds.  I have gone from a size 22 to a 16.  I can easily walk 3 miles where I could barely walk one.  I have discovered many things about myself and how they effect me.  I have read many books and watched many videos about health, self-love, inspiration, and spirit guides.  I don't believe in spirit guides, by the way.  I have put my health in a status of importance rather than something to be ignored.  I have gotten the nerve to go to the doctor and have a pap and a mammogram.  I have had blood work done and discovered I have high cholesterol.  I have discovered that when made with a little creativity, salads are delicious!  Yeah!  There is a reason that a bowl of ice berg lettuce wasn't cuttin' it.  I needed some seeds, some other veggies, maybe a boiled egg.  I have a thirst for water now.  I still want to down a Pepsi from time to time.  Though I drink diet as a treat, it's just not the same.  I have become a better person and I think I like me. 

One Year Anniversary

One year ago today I decided to join Weight Watchers.  I had reached a peak that I didn't want to and was very uncomfortable, embarrassed, and fearful.  I felt heart pressure and palpation.  I was needing a bigger size.  I was having trouble moving like I wanted to.  I was depressed and anxious.  I needed to change.  I decided to join with my only goal to work the program for 6 months.  Around July I realized that I needed to be healthier in other ways too.  I took up journaling and meditating.  I learned about myself by taking personality test, etc.  I got into my spiritual health in my God and in the other realm.  I started practicing self-care and working on my relationship with my husband.  I started doing hygge activities in the fall.  Though I have been sitting on a weight loss plateau for the last 5 months and that is getting old, I can say that in my adult life I have probably not been all-around healthier..... ever.  I feel pretty good.  I just need to get off this damn plateau.  I have started incorporating some other programs with Weight Watchers to connect with my "why" and "payoff".  I have completed the "Finding Freedom" program.  A Christian program for health and self-esteem that showed me the how and why of it.  I finished just recently a "Emotional Eating Workshop"  which taught me the pay off.  I am currently in the Finish Lines Support Group, a Christian support that works with Weight Watchers program.  I realized I needed some sort of support.  Now I just need to put it in motion.  I think that without the losing, it makes the suffering of working out and not enjoying food seem pointless.  I need to learn to enjoy both.  Ha! I know I need to keep going, but I am tired. 

Proud

What am I most proud of?  Not sure.  Everything has it's pros and cons.  Proud of my kids, yet they have disappointed me from time to time as well.  I am proud of our business we have built.  But I also realize that though I spent a lot of time on it, it's not really mine to be proud of.  I am proud of my weight loss, but am also aware that being on a plateau for 5 months is really a failure.  I am really tired of working out and not enjoying food if I am not losing weight.  I am proud of my home.  But haven't really paid for it either.  So.  There's that. 

How to Destress

My previous methods of de stressing would be eating and having a fit.  I have been using different methods as of late and they seem to be much more effective and healthy.  I meditate.  I use Reiki.  I do small amounts of tapping.  I exercise.  I walk.  I read.  I journal. Can you tell I am under a lot of stress?  And yes, I still dive into the food from time to time.  It is still the most effective way of dealing with it.  I hate that I do it, but still I do it.  I should probably try eliminating stress!

Food for Thought

"Eat to Love" by Jenna Hollstein is a new type of book about health and food.  This one does not focus on weight loss rather than a healthy relationship with food.  She focuses on how women should relate to the food both in a physical and mental capacity.  She also brings to mind how women's bodies and their reality to fit into our society by pointing out what is ridiculous and what should be embraced.  The wants and desires of men and society (men) cause a lot of damage both emotionally and physically to women and how they relate to the food they need to survive.  I noticed on Amazon a 1 star rating due to political stand point and I admit, Hollenstein does bring up some politically charged statements that are unnecessary, but they are few and far between and don't cause too much distraction.  Whether you agree with her views or not, it shouldn't interfere with the reading.  For the most part she hits the nail on the head with feminine views and how we should let some of this crap go and do what we need to feel comfortable, healthy, and happy.  Can't go wrong with that.

My advice

My advice to the youngers.  Today I taught a middle school Sunday School class and taught a thing or two. Some of it I learned today. 1. My advice is to not rely on other people's say so.  Study it.  Read on it.  Give it some thought.  Ask questions.  Make your own decision with your own research.
2. The best commercials seem to come after the Super Bowl. 3.  Listen to what makes you happy, not just what's on the top sales or what someone else is listening to.  That's just wasted time.  4.  Assume men aren't to be trusted until they prove they can be.  Might be sexist, but you can't go wrong with that rule.  5. Mark boiled eggs so that you don't get the two mixed up.  6. No one else will take care of you like you do.  Take care of yourself.  Look out for yourself.  7. Hollywood is made up.  The stories are fiction.  The tweets are paid for (usually). Everything you see is fiction, including interviews and pics.  8.  Do what makes you happy and don't tell everyone else.  They will try and ruin it for you.  It's not to be ashamed of, but it is something for you.  9. Don't take 8am classes in college.  You won't go anyway.  10.  Decide your future and don't let others do it for you.  In the end, you are the one that has to do it. 

Abundance

What do I have an abundance?  I have so much.  I have a family that loves me.  I have improved my life in health, weight, spirit, and vibrations.  I am on my way to bliss.  I hope.  No, I will.