favorite childhood memory

When I was a kid we lived in an old farm house in rural Kansas.  It was heated with a Warm Morning stove.  The mornings were anything but warm.  A Warm Morning is a heating unit that was set up in the living room and heated about 5 feet away.  The rest of the house was freezing.  Mainly because it was a house of odd additions with the heating system at the time of the additions being a wood stove.  Most of the rooms had a small stove originally.  All of the wood stoves were gone when we were there.  This meant we were freezing most of the time.  It also meant we wanted to sit directly in front of the stove.  Which pissed my dad off, because then the rest of the house was even colder.  So anyway, my sister and I would sneak up in the night after every one had gone to bed and sit in front of the stove.  It was always so pretty to look at the flames behind the glass and be all snuggled up with our dog, Porky.  Even though I know they had to have been awake and normally he would have spanked us good for it, we almost never got caught sitting there.  It was always so nice to get warm, in the dark, with the fire.

Blessings

1. husband
2. kids- all of them
3. my kitties
4. dog too
5. That I knew and loved Tinkerbelle
6. my home
7. that the heat is finally over
8. watching the Royals
9. lots of grandparents for my kids
10. weight watchers is working
11. live in America
12. live in modern times
13. mind is opening

Thanks a lot

Three things that I appreciate about my current self: mind is opening, I am impressed with what I have been through, including myself in my own happiness.

Ways my body has served me:  have brought three babies into the world, fed them after they were born, able to stay awake for long periods of time, relatively healthy, still kicking after all of the self abuse I have given it, durable, built exactly how God intended it.

Physical likes:  boobs are good, now that I follow a moisturizing regiment my skin feels soft, short enough men find it cute, eyes, hands, feet.

Thank you God for building me how you wanted.  I may not have done the same, but then I wouldn't be me.  I am learning to like me.  I am kinda impressed with myself lately.  Maybe you know what you're doing after all! 

Weekend of Gratitude

More Gratitude.  Well, this was weekend was full of things to be thankful for.  Starting off, my Fall goal is to get up-to-date on all of my medical check-ups.  So I am in the process of doing all of that.  Seems to get rather involved when you don't do it often, if at all.  So, Saturday I did my labs.   I am thankful that that is on it's way to getting done.  I traveled (safely) to Olpe and watched my niece play in a volleyball tournament.  I am grateful I got to see that and visit with family members as well.  I am thankful that she won the two games that I saw and that no one was injured on any of the teams.  I am thankful that my youngest daughter was able to have her best friend come over Saturday night and that they had a good time.  We went to the Renaissance Fair in KC on Sunday.  I am thankful that it was a nice day, that it wasn't crazy crowded, and that we had a good time.  I am grateful that my husband did a minimal amount of complaining.  I am grateful that we got back a little early so that we could all rest and get a few things done around the house: laundry & mowing.  Normally I have a wellness/health plan each day that I make up the night before.  Since the weekend was so busy, I did a bundle.  I  had an agenda for the weekend and could do any of the items at anytime on the weekend.  I got quite a bit accomplished.  I am thankful for that as well.  I am grateful for the changing seasons.  The humming birds have all left and my spring flowers are barely there, but my mums are pretty and the weather is wonderful!  What a life!

Weird Stuff

What is the weird stuff I do when alone?  Well, I dance.  I dance a lot.  That's not really all that weird, I assume everyone does that, but I don't usually do it when people are around.  I look up strange things on the net.  Like, what is a druid?  My search history is a little off.  I sort my shirts.  I have sooo many T shirts.  I like to get them all out and sort them.  I talk to my cats.  I have 4.  I like to tell them stuff.  They are very sympathetic and never tell a soul.  I meditate.  Again not weird, but if you live in a rural area, it is.  That's pretty much it.  Anything else I do when alone, I can pretty much do when people are here.

In a Minute

What is the reasoning behind my blog name?  Well, I have many daughters and one of their favorite movies of all time, whether it is 1994 or 2008, is Cinderella.  I have seen that movie at least 5000 times.  I know it all by heart.  One of the scenes that really speaks to me is when the step-mother and step-sisters are telling Cinderella to do all of this stuff while she is getting breakfast, feeding animals, whatever and she goes "in a minute" all sing-songy like it is all no big deal.  I always felt like that was me.  "in a minute"  I'll get to it, while everyone has no idea what they are asking, nor do they care, they just want it.  Especially when they are little.  And that pretty much sums up my life from the time I was 22 to now. 

In this very room

What am I grateful for in this room?  Well, I am sitting at a computer on the internet.  I am very grateful for that.  I am next to a glass of clear, clean water.  In many parts of the world, including America, they do not have access, so I am grateful.  On the counter is a baby bottle with change in it for the Life Care Center and a mug with pop tabs in it.  I am grateful for the people in both of those organizations as well as the people who have been putting the change and tabs in there.  I see pictures of four of my kids and my husband.  I am thankful for all them in my life.  I have an AC going in the room.  Can you imagine being in a metal building at 95 degrees with no AC?  There are many more things in here, but I will leave it at that. 

The Big 9

There are nine Fruits of the Spirit:  love, joy, patience, peace, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.  Now.  Which of these are natural for me?  I wouldn't say any are natural,  but I guess faithfulness is the easiest.  I am pretty faithful.  Even if I don't especially like you, I will be faithful if I feel you are being crapped on.  The rest of the nine are fairly non-existent.  Well, I love pretty well too.  OK, the 7 are non-existent.  I would like God to help me develop all 9, but if I had to pick one I would say self-control.  But then I would feel kinda bad, cuz that only benefits me really.  However, maybe someone should be concerned about my self-control.  If not me, than who? 

What will they think?

Two people who come to mind when I think "What will they think" would be my mother and mother-in-law.  They are two judges that make Simon look like a weak, little man.  They both love the idea of a better life, but neither has the life they feel they want.  Both of their lives are fine.  They have good lives; but they are not extremely luxurious either.  My mom has judged since day one and the in-law has judged since the day she found out her son was going to purpose.  I didn't know he was going to, but I could see that something had flipped in her views.  Both are too old to change, so that would leave it to me.  I don't especially care what others think, but that doesn't mean I want to hear about it either.  I do a lot of avoidance.  That should change.  I realize that stating they aren't being nice and that I don't want to be around them if they are going to talk that way means that they will probably avoid me.  I guess that doesn't change much for me does it? 

RMH

What organization am I grateful for?  I would have to say the Ronald McDonald House.  Hands down.  We have stayed there several times during the hardest times of my life and it is such a wonderful organization.  They let you stay the night for free.  Or the week, or the month, or more!  They have baskets for toiletries for times when you have no warning that your life is about to be turned upside down.  They provide food.  They even have other organizations or families come in and serve hot food for suppers.  They also have Ronald McDonald rooms at the Children's Hospital for naps and hot lunches.  You can stay the night there as well if you are real hard up.  They also provide a laundry room complete with soap.  They have rooms in the houses for siblings to play or occupy their time.  This is an amazing organization.  We always save tabs and encourage our community to save tabs as well.  We donate money and toiletries.  Whatever.  These people are a God send and I will be eternally in their debt.  I can't say enough about the Ronald McDonald House.

Drew and Sean

What is an artist, author, or musician that I am grateful for?  For as long as I can remember Drew Barrymore and Sean Astin have been famous.  They are both about my age and they both have never really lost their famousness so they have always been there.  I have seen most of their movies or shows.  Not so much because they were in them, but because the movie sounded like something I would like.  They usually play dorks.  Not always, but usually.  Even when they don't, you can always kinda see the dork lurking behind the makeup.  It seems more like they are family than actors.  I am aware they are actors and that I don't actually know them at all.  But when someone is always there, be it in real life or on a screen, you start to count on them to always be there.  Like family.  So, I guess you could say I am grateful for these two lovely people.  Because to me, they are a couple of better-looking-than-average nerds that will be visiting as soon as they get off work. 

Anger Management

One by one my devotionals are pointing out anger.  And you shouldn't deny coincidences.  Anger is an issue.  Always has been.  It is a family tradition.  It is nothing to throw a glass across the room.  Abuse runs rampid.  When visiting my father recently he became angry over something I had said as a teen.  Twenty-five years ago.  He became angrier as he remembered.  I became angry because he was angry at me.  Then it occurred to me.... this was 25 years ago.  What the hell, man?  Talk about something else.  Anything else.  If we are going to be angry, lets me angry about something relevant.  Stop thinking about the past.  Stop predicting the future.  I don't want to be angry anymore.  I want to be at peace. 
This is something that wouldn't have occurred to me a year ago.  I would have had a fit, taken it out on someone, eaten something with lots of cheese and been pissed for a couple of days.  I didn't do any of that this time.  I am coming along!

Ganshert newest review

"No One Ever Asked" by Katie Ganshert is an amazing book.  The novel has three main characters: Camile, the top dog of moms at Crystal Ridge; Jen, a new white mother of adopted Jubilee, who is trying to come to grips with becoming a mother of an orphan; and Anaya, a new, black teacher in the Crystal Ridge school district.  When the neighboring school district loses it's accreditation, students have the right to go to neighboring Crystal Ridge.  The true problems lie with Crystal Ridge being an upper crust white district and the other is not. 
Ganshert dissects racism in Crystal Ridge, whether the residents realize it or not.  Most racism is an underlying discrimination that goes mostly unnoticed by the inflicting party. Much of it is obvious to everyone.  Ganshert peels back the layers and exposes them to the reader.  This book is very well done and I highly recommend it.  I received this book in exchange for an honest review from Waterbrook Publishing.

AAAHH, the Mistakes I've Made.

We've all made mistakes.  Some of them have been doozies. They say that what people regret the most is what they didn't do.  My grandpa is in the nursing home and one of his regrets is that he didn't go to Mount Rushmore.  Now, why didn't he go?  His wife and kids did.  He could have gone at any time.  He didn't.  I guess he thought there was always time.  There isn't.  I follow a woman on Facebook, Nourish You Sisterhood. She has "words" of the year.  This year my word is "health".  It was a mistake on my part to not take care of myself.  Now in some parts of my life, I was doing good just to keep going, let alone be healthy.  But some parts I was just lazy.  Next year my word will be "adventure".  I don't want to be sitting in a nursing home with feet and hands that no longer work and know that I can't go see "the mountain with the heads on it."  It is one of the saddest things I can think of.  Next year I am taking my new sized butt and taking a few trips.  Usually we drive, cuz: one- it's cheaper, and two- I am deathly afraid of being kicked off of a plane.  That means trips are either kinda boring, since I live in the Midwest; or long.  I want to be able to fly to New York in three hours rather than take 2 days to drive there.  I want to go on hikes in the desert or mountains and not be totally exhausted.  I want to take my journey on the road.  My other mistakes are pretty much, "eh, shouldn'ta done that." Run ins with the law, failed marriages, running my mouth when I shouldn't have.  But the failure to take care of myself could cost me my life.  And I can't brush that off.

Three Things I take for Granted

List three things I take for granted........ I take living in America for granted.  Do you have any idea how lucky I am?  We have people burning their Nike's for crying out loud!  There are parts of the world where they would loooove to have some clothes, let alone Nike's.  It is a country where a man can kneel at the flag in protest of something he has every reason in the world to be pissed about and he cannot be arrested.  Hated, yes.  But punished, no.  Is he still struggling, you betcha.  But he can go on and spread his message. 
I take being a woman for granted.  Now, you might think, and correctly so, that being a woman would kind of suck.  Physically and socially it is no picnic.  But, it has it's perks.  For instance, I can pretty much get what I want from my husband by standing near him while he is sitting down.  The right set of mammary glands will go a long way.  And at my age, I am basically invisible.  Being 45 is practically a superpower. 
I take being a mom for granted.  Being a mom is hard work and it can be easy to forget how wonderful it is.  I have three wonderful kids and four amazing step-kids.  Each child is such a wonderful gift and I haven't appreciated how fabulous each one is.  There are women who struggle to have children, biological or not.  There are women whose children do not turn out as planned (I don't mean they are wrong, but are lost to world or suffering immensely themselves).  There are women who have buried their children.  Mine are all here.  Mine are all well.  They are not perfect nor are they what I would have planned, but they are doing what makes them happy.  And that is something I should never take for granted. 

Turn that Frown Upsidedown

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true,
whatever things are noble, whatever things are
just, whatever things are pure, whatever things
are lovely, whatever things are of good report,
if there is any virtue and if there is anything
praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
Philippians 4:8


This is today's scripture for my detox and coincidentally it was last night's reading as well.  Aaaand, my gratitude journal wants me to write something positive that I normally think negatively about.  Weird, huh.  I have been following and reading many assorted things this year and one of them had me name my weight problem.  I named it Terry after the sergeant on Brooklyn 99.  Another had me name the negative voices in my head. ( I don't actually hear them, it's just thoughts)  I named it Critical Christy.  No reason other than the name was supposed to be cute and since I think critically and Christy goes well with critical, I went with it.  Now, I am not sure the reason for the naming stuff, other than to belittle it?  But name it I did.  The critical part is something that I could use some quieting of.  So going over this verse time and time again, is pretty useful.  I think the voice is my mother, but who knows.  Anyway.  Let's positive the crap outta this!

Unhealthy input

And do not be conformed to this
world, but be transformed by the
renewing of your mind, that you
may prove what is that good and
acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2


Today in my Soul Detox, I am supposed to replace unhealthy input.  With healthy of course.  Her example was Worship music versus secular.  I almost never listed to Worship.  A lot of it gets on my nerves.  She posted links to 7 different ones.  So I thought each day for 7 days I will try these.  One a day.  The first is "spontaneous worship."  It seems a little weird at first with all of the people rocking back and forth.  Like a trance really.  It's much better to listen to.  If you are new the the Upper Room scene, don't watch it.  Propaganda is one thing that is starting to catch my attention.  Regardless of the medium, it seems that propaganda to pull people one way or the other is startling.  Especially women.  I run across them so often, even my own daughters, where they are easily pulled in whatever direction.  Without question!  Without thought, or any kind of investigation whatsoever.  Now, I know plenty of men who do the same, but not as many as the women.  I do wish the media was more fact sharing and leaving the view finding to the listener.  But I suppose all information has to benefit someone.  Otherwise they wouldn't share it.

What is gratitude anyway?

Gratitude means that you are aware of what the person or things does for you and that you appreciate it.  I am aware that without a great many things my life would suck.  I am aware that the world is a better place with certain people in it.  I am aware that things can always get worse and I appreciate that it is not.  Gratitude means you know how lucky you got it.

Give Thanks

Most of the time I think of food as the enemy.  The thing I turn to when times are bad.  Therefore I associate it with bad things.  The results of too much are bad.  Again, associate it with bad stuff.  But maybe I should take a minute and give thanks for the very food that I have learned to have a love-hate relationship.  For instance, it keeps me alive.  Ask anyone in a starvation situation and they will tell you how wonderful food really is.  I have always had it.  I grew up poor on a farm.  But no matter how poor you are, farms are where the food is.  We tended to eat seasonally: lots of meat in the winter (my dad hunted as well) and lots of veggies and fruit in the summer.  All organic by the way.  I enjoy cooking.  I love to work up stuff and see how it turns out.  I like altering recipes to see if I can give it my personal touch.  I love the taste of melted cheese, milk chocolate, fried chicken, spaghetti. Thank God for food!

10 things I am grateful for

1. home
2. husband is hard working
3. grandparents 70th anniversary
4. internet
5. washing machine
6. daughter's recovering health
7. 35lb weight loss
8. mom, grandma, and aunt returned from Alaska safely
9. freedom of religion
10. rain

New things I have learned from Restart:  not worrying as much, letting God have it if I can't do anything about it anyway.  You can't do anything about it.  And if you can, make an action decision and do it.  If it works, it works.  If it doesn't, do something else.  Having several back up plans isn't necessary.  Not trusting God, judging others, and complaining puts myself in God's place.  A place a have no business being nor can I even begin to be effective.  None of it is of any use.  Do what I can, trust God.  That's it.